I was reading about a family that is looking into sending their daughter who is making some real bad decisions right now to a residential or treatment facility for a short time. They might be looking at a camp kind of experience but it made me think about residential treatment facilities. I used to see them as great places where kids could get the treatment that they needed when they needed it. But now, just a few years later, I think very differently. It isn't because I have had bad experiences, but because my view on family has changed.
- At this point in time I do not see as separating the "problem" child as being the solution. If anything, a family should pull together closer rather than scatter to solve a problem.
- I also hate the fact that parents look to treatment facilities as answers to problems - this isn't so, although I understand the temptation to think so.
- Rather than sending a child away to be "rehabilitated" to get them away from environment, friends, school, anything that may be making them act out in the ways that they are, it should be the parents who buckle down, go to family therapy (regardless of kicking and screaming kids-therapists/counselors and social workers are trained to deal with these people) and be ready to do what they need to do to make family life work - move, quit a job, whatever. These changes are to costly you say? Well in replacement for the $150 a day price for treatment facilities (this is just an average of what I heard - they vary), I think a family could swing it..
- But for some reason we live in a place where sending the problem away to be fixed because the "problem child" needs to fit into their lives. It takes to much work for us to change to accommodate the needs of someone else.
- For some kids, staying at home is not an option. For some kids residential treatment will save them from their pending doom. This is even sadder.
- Why do we live in a country that does not work hard on keeping families together? Why do we live in a country that accepts the coming and going of relationships based on our whims and fancies? When are we going to stop being relational pansies and start getting hard core about our families?
- Soap Box: End transmission
4 comments:
I think when we're talking about biological families you're on the money Lisa, but so often these kids become "problems" because of their parents. In my experience as a nurse, kids who become such a huge problem that treatment facilities become an option don't come from homes where they are supported, listened to, and disciplined. That isn't always true, I do believe "nature" plays a significant role, but in any case I agree that biological families need to buckle down and pull together for their "problem children". Even if quitting your job isn't an option (like for single parents) there ARE options if you're willing to sacrifice for your kid.
On the other hand, I deal with a lot of adopted children who came from horrific homes full of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Even when removed from these homes as early as 2 years, they are scarred. Depending on how the adoptive parents deal with this, it can get out of hand. An example would be a patient who after living with adoptive parents for 10 years now, struggles with major depression and recently infured her/himself horribly. As a result, his/her foster parents are considering a residential home for her/his own protection. I know that's an extreme example, but it's more common than I like to think about.
Last thought: the major problem for me with these homes is that in my experience and others I know, these kids end up spending 24 hours a day with other kids with even worse issues and tend to learn new unhealthy behaviors. It's sad, but true.
Ah, sorry that was so long :o)
True, true. Foster kids end up in these places a lot (I sent a few there myself) and the thing that gets me is that the usual problems with adopted and foster children are attacment and bonding issues and sending them to residential treatment just focuses on behavior managment. It doesn't heal the initial issue of the fact that they have not been given the opportunity to bond with their parents or to some kind of family. This puts them into a state of hypersensativity to their surroundings and teaches them to survive on their own emotionally, which can (not always) bring itself out in out of control behavior. It is so sad. Another thing that is interesting is that many kids who misbehave are not the root of the family problem - the kids are usually respending to a similus within their environment...that is where family therapy gets tricky. Families like to be able to quarentine the problem. I guess maybe because it is so much easier to deal with when you do that - I am sure that it is overwhelming and at times devistating to consider other options as being the root of a problem. It is interesting, and sad, stuff. My post was too long as well!
I agree with what both of you said! The idea of residential sounds good, but the reality doesn't match up. From what I saw, the social workers and therapists at those facilities did decent work, but who is watching the kids during the rest of their time? I'm sure you know this, but chances are the day staff are not paid well, probably don't have a college degree and the training can be questionable.
Did you know I did the training to work at Lakeside in Kzoo? I quit at the point where I would have been fully "trained" and ready to start a real shift. What a nightmare. On my observation shifts I noticed so many alarming problems. Some of the staff cared more about socializing and would leave the kids in dangerous situations. I was totally left alone with kids on my first day, no staff anywhere to be found. Later one of the staff wandered in, she went next door to another building because she was "bored" (she was supposed to be training me, then laughed about how I must be mad at her for leaving). Some of the staff would eat candy and snacks in front of kids who had to be on special diets. They would yell at kids and not tell them certain things, being secretive to be playful. It was all so inappropriate.
The other places I worked (Family & Children's and Gryphon Place) I late found didn't have high esteem for Lakeside, evidenced a few yrs later when it was shut down! (Now reopened).
Anyway... it's such patch up solution, I don't think it works either. What you get for the cost isn't worth it. I don't know what the solution is though.
Thanks for the post Steph- the thing that is super sad is like you said - Social workers try hard and there are good intentions...but the reality does not match up with the plan!
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