What choice would I make if EVERYONE was looking?

• Galatians 1:10, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (NIV)

• One summer I spent it working and going to SLT at Cedar Campus in the UP. That summer I had a few experiences that I will never forget due to the impact that they had on me. One conversation that I had was with a Mom. We were talking about her family and she shared a perspective on raising her daughter that I have never forgotten. She told me that she wants to raise her daughter so that when she is 18, graduates from high school that she knows her gifts and where God is leading her in life to the point that if she doesn’t want to go to college, start a career, etc, that she doesn’t feel the pressure from her family and culture to do so. She wants her daughter to know that it is ok to get married young, to have children and be a mother and wife – making that her career. This simple idea isn’t all that earth shattering, it wasn’t that long ago in our countries culture that this was the norm. But to me at 20yrs old, and coming from a family that college wasn’t really even a negotiation and all the women in my family – ALL of them, have college educations and careers, it was foreign. I don’t remember anything else about the conversation, I don’t even really remember the way that she shared this information, I just remember the content and the message that I received was very shocking to me.

• With many of the important women in my life having babies right now as well as knowing other moms who are raising their kids, I have been thinking about this perspective and trying to place myself in the shoes of a parent who may be making a decision like this in the values that I want to instill in my daughter. For some reason, it has become counter cultural for a woman to be married very young and to be a home maker and wife. It seems that the only way that this has become normal is if the Mom has had some education and she has career ambitions that are just being put on hold. Not to mention that she didn’t get married until she had gotten all the fun out of her system and she is ready to be a wife and to be a Mom. When couples get married at 19 now a day, it is seen as a big mistake. They are “too young” and they don’t know what they are doing. I understand these arguments just basing it on myself – I was 22 when I got married. That to me is young, and I didn’t really know what I was doing (at least now as I look back I know this) in so many areas. But I know that Paul and I were supposed to get married and it has been the best thing in my life!

• So all this to say (I know I am not being real clear and concise), where are my loyalties? Do I buy into this whole culture of a woman must be equal to a man in her career opportunities even if she don’t appear to be made that way? What if I have a daughter who is obviously made to be a wife and a full time Mom…do I insist that she go to college “just in case”? That is my natural response. It’s not that I think Gods plans wouldn’t be carried out if I did encourage my daughter to get some kind of training as an insurance policy in life…but the question is – do I have the courage to look at the option that isn’t very popular, that seems to have died out in our current female population and trust that God will take care of her until death and bless her decision to honor him with her heart in this way. Is it that I don’t value the education and training that goes into training young women to keep a home (which by the way I believe is lacking now-a days. I could REALLY have used some of this training – it would have kept me from putting liquid dish soap in the dish washer when I was first married – BIG MESS)? Will I have the courage to go that route? Am I still honoring God and who God made my daughter to be if I do not whole heartedly embrace what the desires of my daughter’s heart are?

• I know that in my own heart I have found the desire to be a Mom and a wife and child of the Lord to be stronger than any other part. A career does not fulfill me. It is fun at times, but I sit here at my desk and think about being at home. I put more energy into growing as a wife and preparing as a mother then I do as a professional. My passion is to be this woman that I for so long didn’t think existed any more. I am married to a Man who was so obviously made to be a husband and a father. Yet, because I learned this about myself so late in my young life I have gained an education and started a career to keep my “happy” in the mean time. Sometimes, in my own embarrassment, I wonder if I have the courage to make the choices that I would make when no one is looking – when everyone is looking.