Utica

I am here. Last night I hung out with Jessica in Rochester. We went to Rams horn, walked around her neighborhood and wrapped up our talk with a cup of spiced chi in her Kitchen. As I was driving from her house to Dan and Andreas, I got all chocked up and home sick. I have never once been home sick for Rochester. Not once, in 10 years, have I wanted to be here rather than anywhere else. Last night, driving past my old neighborhood, my high school, hanging out at Rams Horn and seeing Bordines. Reminiscing about the record store that Denise used to work at that is now an Out Back Steak House, seeing how Papa Vinos across from my old job is now a Jo-Ann fabrics…it all gave me a pang for the history that I have in that town and made me sad that it is no longer my home. I don’t get home sick, I have never missed my past and essentially I don’t miss my past now, I just miss the things that could be in my present because I am not here. And late night walks with Jessica and a quick meal in a very familiar restaurant is something that I can’t have where I live and I felt that acutely last night as I was driving to Utica. The initial prick of feeling was when Jessica and I were sitting on her front porch in the dark talking about relationships and it occured to me that it was 10 years ago this week that she and I sat in her driveway crying because she was flying off to Boston and a few days later I was going to WMU and the rest is history.